Having been blessed with more than a passable sense of rhythm, it was no surprise that I completely blitzed the field in the Elvis competition at the SuperRatings 10th anniversary awards in Melbourne last Thursday.

A group of 50-somethings in penguin suits were plucked randomly from the crowd, myself among them, and we were commanded to dance like Elvis to the roars of the audience.

I must say though that it wasn’t the biggest accolade to be adjudged the winner in a field like that – what were the others doing for god’s sake?

You call that dancing?

That tall chap from the hedge fund (anyone who was there will know who I mean) wasn’t trying at all. I find it difficult to believe that he could be a hunk a hunk of burning love, in any circumstance, having seen him “strut” his stuff.

Ah, Melbourne! How we do love going down there. We have reciprocal rights at the Savage Club and always enjoy popping in for some of their pre-war-style beef brisket washed down with claret from the classic decanters as we ogle the tribal art for which the club is renowned.

This was our first foray into the Crown Casino for the SuperRatings bash and, after being “papped” on the red carpet with those scantily clad showgirls, we were into the champagne.

I was hoping for a cameo performance from AFL bad boy Brendan Fevola, but he was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps Crown should hire some Fevola impersonators just to spice the place up a bit, because it could do with it.

Interesting conversation at dinner with some people from the “left wing” of the finance industry, and by that I mean those industry super funds and their new creature, ME Bank. I do find it hard to get my head around the idea of a $20-billion fund being not for profit, but that’s just me.

These people really are planning to take over the world! The vaulting ambition of those people from ME Bank is amazing. They keep talking themselves up as the Fifth Pillar as if its some quasi-biblical destiny. They’ve even taken over the naming rights of that building which was once a Japanese department store, and their shingle hangs high above the city like the flag of a conqueror.

Still, ME is not the only one with big plans. I had a similar conversation with someone from ING and then AMP. Let them slug it out and the market decide, I say!

But I am very concerned about those left wingers. Just when I thought we’d almost got rid of unions and I was on the cusp of sealing a deal for ACTU House to be turned into another Medina apartment complex, now I see they’ve morphed into something new, and this time they’ve got money!

It was such a relief to get back to Sydney and read that James Packer might be able to start up his new casino without paying anything to the government because of some loophole.

Now that’s the way to do business!

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